


I Hope You Never

by sharedwithyou



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angry Reader, Angstangstangst, Apologetic Loki, F/M, Heavy Angst, Loki (Marvel) Feels, Post-Thor: The Dark World, Thor: The Dark World Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:41:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24551758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharedwithyou/pseuds/sharedwithyou
Summary: Sister fic to Dead To Me, but much angstierYou looked at his withered mottled-blue skin, and wondered if death would become him like it did so many heroes in the past. You almost laughed out loud with bitterness but thought better of it. A hero, indeed. The anti-villain. The fallen angel; the cherub cast aside from grace; with it’s broken wings clipped and dirty hands reaching for the heavens still.What a joke.
Relationships: Loki/Reader
Comments: 8
Kudos: 10





	I Hope You Never

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AngelWings411](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelWings411/gifts).



> Dead To Me wasn't angsty enough for me so here's this: the darker angrier sadder sister fic.
> 
> Sometimes the world makes me angry, and then fics like this happen. Hopefully the world gets better.
> 
> Also, Black Lives Matter.
> 
> Take care of yourselves, lovelies.
> 
> XOXO Bucky

“It would be unwise to spit upon the face of a departed prince, (y/n).”

“Don’t worry, Thor. I wasn’t going to.”

“Very well.” He wavered, between leaving to your own vices and staying to watch the madness unfold. As far as you were concerned, that was neither here nor there.

“Will you be… alright?”

“That’s the question for the ages, isn’t it, Thor?” He made a huffing sound, halfway between a dry laugh and a worried noise. 

“I-“ he broke off, pushing away at his own grief to examine yours; or what was left of it. In the end he decided the solace of your own solitude would suffice. And you would know better than to defile a dead body. He was sure of it.

“Take care, then, (y/n).” He put a heavy hand on your shoulder, before striding off like the regal lion he was, with the men scurrying off after him. None stayed; they, at least, knew better.

“Well hello there, Loki.”

  
  


You settled down on your haunches, getting comfortable for your tirade, or whatever they’d like to call it. You looked at his withered mottled-blue skin, and wondered if death would become him like it did so many heroes in the past. You almost laughed out loud with bitterness but thought better of it. A hero, indeed. The anti-villain. The fallen angel; the cherub cast aside from grace; with it’s broken wings clipped and dirty hands reaching for the heavens still.

What a joke.

“I hope it was worth it, My Prince.”

Such a meaningful way to go; vindicated, redemption, and all the lovely little complacencies that came with it. The fool.

“It seems you’ve finally gotten the recognition you so deserved, Sire. The acceptance.”

Your fingers hovered over his face, as if to wipe the hair from his forehead. Or to close his eyes in final rest. The peace he couldn’t find in life, to guide him to his living.

No, you would stare those cold dead eyes down to the last glare, because they never had any warmth in them did they? For you?

“Oh, King of Asgard.” 

  
  


You heard a rustling behind you and knew that the wonderful brother had come to check on you. To see if you’d disposed of his corpse perhaps; burned it, tore it to shreds. “Did you really think me a heathen, Thor? To mutilate a lifeless cadaver?”

“You misunderstand me, (y/n).” Do I? “I came to see if you were alright.”

“You are too kind, Your Highness.”

He shook his beautiful mane and squatted next to you. “Were I to be your brother…”

“That’s a little far-reaching isn’t it? Or should I say short-sighted?”

“Nevertheless.” He put a warm meaty arm around your shoulder, before draping that dashing red cape over you to abate the chill. Were these two really related? If not by blood, by upbringing?

“You treat me far too well, Thor.”

“It is as you deserved.” You stiffened and turned your cheek away from his grizzled chin. Still, he continued, in his bumbling, misguided, prideful and oh so noble way. “It would be as he wanted.”

“Is that so.” There was no question in your voice. 

“Do not fault him for it, (y/n).”

“Then who, Thor? Myself?”

“Certainly not!” His voice rose as he stood to his full majestic stature. That Odinson ego, after all. If the blame does not fall on your brother, Thor, are you taking his fall? Or are you so blind with rage, with sorrow, with love to see through the God of Lies as every other man? You are no God, Thor. And neither is he.

But you did not say any of that. “I mean no disrespect, Your Worship.”

“I know, (y/n).” He stormed away, but you knew he would be feeling guilty the rest of the night. Tomorrow? Tomorrow might be better.

  
  


“See how he loves you, my dear?” It was back to your monologue, your conversation with your dead lover. Should it be called as such.

“I always told you your brother loved you. As did your brother himself, and your bastard of a father. Don’t you see now?”

Motionless, silent, was the Frost King before you. 

“They’ve always wished you well, my love. As they do now. On the wings of chariots to the never-ending eternity of bliss. May you find your way, Oh Lord.” You smiled with your eyes glinting, not with tears but with twisted joy.

“But me? Oh, not I.”

“I wish you pain, my love.” Pain, like the one I bore when you had not the patience for anyone besides yourself.

“That you find yourself at the feet of one you thought well. As I did.”

“That the peace that eluded you in this life continues into the next.” Would the royal family hear this, you would no doubt be beaten. Or perhaps that was only the youngest son’s way. An angry word and an earful would set you straight from anyone else. 

“Because we know you weren’t chasing after it like some star-crossed lover. You avoided it, you pushed it aside, and had it bumped you in the nose you would have spit in its face like you deserve from I now. But I will not waste a precious drop on you.”

“And you can race with your aching feet after your one true longing, some sort of kingdom, of lordship, that neither exists nor would be bestowed upon you. And definitely would not be found by one whose heart is as cold as yours.”

“That you find a beautiful, wondrous, breathtaking queen who has everything you desired, that you could not find in this realm, or in this state of existence. That matches and surpasses every expectation you’d ever dreamt. And that she cast you aside like you did I.”

You were shaking with rage now, and the cold was seeping under your very skin, but your heart had been ice, and granite, for long enough, to withstand the outside forces, be they words or winds. Or hands.

“And that you care with the tiniest of truth that is left in your husk of a self and she never, ever, ever return it.”

“And that you press your lips against the inevitable web of lies you’ve caught yourself in, so that even you doubt what you could see with your own eyes because of what you’d done with your soul. And that the words like honey drip like venom down your chin and burn the marks of sin like they almost did mine.”

“For when the sun rises in the west and sets in the east, and all that is good is said and done, and you turn way from yourself and return once more, to sanity, to reason, to your heart beating for someone other than you.”

“Would it be me?” If he could speak, he would have told you.

If he had the words, it would have been one; yes.

But he had neither, and you weren’t listening.

**_Forgive me, (y/n)._ **

“I pray you never find love.”

**_But I already have, my dear._ **

“And I hope-“ You shook your head and rued the day you had fallen for the fallen prince.

But he was listening with baited breath, with hopeful ears for a sign, any sign of redemption.

“I hope you never find happiness.”

And with that, you stood up, brushing the dust from your knees, and walked off without another look behind you again.

**_(Y/n), I will spend the rest of this lifetime making it up to you._ **

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry Loki! Eventually there will be a semi happy fic with you.
> 
> Stay safe lovelies.


End file.
